|You know those times when the woman you’re with is talking about something that she doesn’t really care about, and you’re only half-listening, because you know she doesn’t care?
What do you do when that’s happening?
Do you just keep pretending to listen, hoping that her monologue doesn’t last too long, and try to say “Mmm hmm” at the right times?
Or do you get resentful and ruminate about all the other times that this has happened?
Or get angry at yourself because you don’t know what to do to get her to stop without pissing her off?
Well, I’ve got another option for ya.
Most of the time when this is happening — when she’s not so connected to what she’s saying — it’s because there’s something that she’s really wanting to feel or say and she doesn’t know how to get there. She doesn’t know how to contact it.
But you can help. Here’s how.
Interrupt her with something like this: “Hey babe/honey/my love/sexy (insert your favorite nickname here), I notice that I’m starting to drift off as you’re talking, and I would much rather be right here with you. I wonder if there’s something you’re really wanting to say, but you’re not saying it.”
The short version — and you can use this with women who like it if you’re very direct — is this: “Sweetie, what do you really want to say right now?” This is the phrase that can shock her into the present moment.
If she’s feeling defensive, she might try to fight with you when you interrupt her. “I am trying to tell you what’s really happening,” she might say. “Why don’t you just listen to me?” But a good woman will understand what you’re doing and ultimately be grateful that you’re wanting to truly connect with her.
Important: You’re not asking her to “come to the point” or “get to the bottom line,” like you might in a work environment. This interruption is designed to get her to reveal a deeper truth that she’s partially experiencing, but not fully in touch with, or unable to verbalize yet. So you need to be both loving and direct. Both gentle and fierce.
The caveat with this phrase is that you actually need to be ready to hear her deeper truth. If you can do that, if you can draw her out, it’s very likely that she’ll open to you more deeply, both emotionally and sexually.
And that’s what it’s all about, my friend.