Who I Coach

The Masculine…

Most men who come to coaching with me are dealing with a combination of issues. Find out whether you qualify with this list of experiences and life experiences, and learn more about my programs around the awakened masculine.

And the Feminine…

It’s true that I’ve focused most of my work and research on men’s sexuality and evolution. As a brother to four sisters and a teacher of Tantra to couples, I’ve been gifted with a number of open windows into the female experience.

Jim’s programs and offerings

For Men

Take a look at this list of life experiences, circumstances, and personality types — you may find yourself in one or more of the categories. Most men who come to coaching with me are dealing with a combination of issues.

See if any of these fit for you.

Divorced

Newly dating after divorce

You may find yourself at the edge of a new frontier of relationship — equal parts scary and exciting.

It could be that…

  • You haven’t had sex with anyone other than your ex in 15 years.
  • Maybe you simply forgot how to date and seduce.
  • Maybe your marriage left you with relational and sexual confusion (at best) or scarring (at worst).

Inexperienced

Not a lot of sexual experience

A heavy cultural stigma, this can be the case for men both young and old. Sexuality is a skill that should, and can and should be thought!

You May Have…

  • Entered into monogamy with your high school sweetheart and are just leaving that relationship
  • Lacked the self-assurance and right circumstances to get the sex you wanted
  • You may be looking to gain the confidence you need to become more of a sexual rock star

Stagnant

Sexual flatline in a long-term relationship

You might be asking yourself…

  • How does the person you negotiate life with remain your steamy-hot lover?
  • How do you cross the barriers to intimacy to create a juicy sex life?
  • What is your half of the equation?

Porn

Porn dependency / addiction

Ah, porn. While not inherently evil, it can significantly inhibit your ability to have a satisfying intimate relationship with another person

Together, we will…

  • assess the degree to which your porn use prevents you from getting the love and sex life you want
  • create strategies and practices to ease out of addiction
  • Establish lifelong healthy balance between intense visual stimulation and flesh-and-blood (and heart!) contact

Trauma

Recovering from sexual abuse

While I am not a therapist trained with the necessary skills to meet all the needs of a trauma survivor, I do welcome the honor of helping men with a history of violation recover their sexual birthright. 

  • If you feel you have previously gained enough support, stability, and self-awareness to deepen your connection with your sexuality…

I will walk with you on a well-paced path toward reclaiming both pleasure and power.

Nonmonogamy

Polyamorous exploration

If done with respect and care, polyamory places an emphasis on communication, consideration, and compassion for all involved. 

While stable, healthy, and satisfying polyamorous relationships are certainly possible, these explorations can also raise shadowy issues like jealousy, abandonment fears, and painful comparison.

I help you…

  • Navigate the path of polyamory
  • Determine if it is truly right for you at this point in your life
  • Work and talk through the process of opening your existing relationship, or establishing your first polyamorous relationship
  • Explore and define boundaries

Pleasure

Being a “pleaser”

These questions point to a loss of sexual connection with yourself, and are often a source of mediocre, unsatisfying sexual experiences.

I invite you to work together to find new balance with your power dynamics.

Ask yourself…

  • Have you noticed a tendency to focus primarily on your partner during sex?

  • Do you consider yourself successful if they’ve come even if you haven’t?

  • Do you have sexual desires you think about, but rarely speak?

Stress

Bedroom anxiety

I understand…

  •  The physical and mental components of a sex life fraught with anxiety.
  • I can help you move through shame, and relax into your natural sexual confidence as a man.

Climax issues

Early Ejaculation

The most import things to know are:

  • It’s not your fault! Nature designed you to ejaculate as soon as possible

  • You can learn to last longer, increase your’s and your parter’s pleasure
  • The first step we go through, is to reduce the stress associated with this “condition”

Kink

Fetishes

More common than most folks think, fetishes are a deeply personal link to fulfilling sexual expression, and I celebrate them.

I coach men who have not yet come to fully embrace their “kink” to explore and integrate the drive behind the fetish.

As a result, they begin to find liberation through acceptance of this aspect of their sexuality.

Jim Benson has been an important part of my sexual recovery over the past year. After my girlfriend moved out, I realized how much I had given myself away. Doing so many things for her, and so few for me. No wonder she left. I had lost the connection to myself that attracted her to me in the first place. Now I feel like I have my mojo back. And I’m pretty sure it’s here to stay!”

— Nate T, Philadelphia, PA

Jim’s work created so many powerful changes in me — it made me feel twice as alive, vibrant, and powerful. He reinforced my latent talents and joyous aliveness and gave me confidence to share myself fully with my friends and family — with men, women, and the world. My earning potential probably more than doubled as a result of the Awakened Masculine work.”

— Michael C, Tempe, AZ

Just a note to say how much I appreciated our work together this past year, Jim. I’m relating to women in an entirely new way. Instead of approaching, as you say, ‘like a beggar with a bowl,’ I’m feeling confident (and maybe a little cocky sometimes!) in who I am as a man.”

— Kal R, Byron Bay, AU

Using the many tools he has developed, Jim showed me how to blend within myself the strong masculine (who is not afraid to impregnate the world with the light of his conscious mind and body), and the nurturing feminine. I highly recommend any man who is on his path to spend time with Jim and his work. My life has changed since doing so.”

— Peter E, Lagunitas, CA

Jim’s programs and offerings

For Women

What I’ve learned from working with men in relationships with women has led me to become increasingly attuned to the challenges women face in sex and intimacy.

Many women may prefer to work with another woman on these issues. But for women who wish to engage a man directly with this kind of  vulnerable material,
I provide a compassionate and truthful masculine perspective.

I invite women to work with me

Coaching

One-on-one coaching for women

I offer one-on-one coaching for women who wish to work on areas of relationship concerns, cultivating a deeper understanding masculine and feminine sexuality, and expanding into the wild and gorgeous territory of the feminine while living in a predominantly masculine world.

Women I’ve coached have said they experience me like a caring big brother, and that the presence of an encouraging and supportive man in their lives aids them in accessing new ways of being — at work, at home, with their partners, with family, and most importantly, with themselves.

Jim is a master at what he does. He teaches a challenging subject in a way that is humble, gentle, funny and accessible. The sex exercises he teaches for men worked wonders for me, too, as a woman. I find myself practicing them every chance I get, opening up new (and yummy) channels in my body.”

— Marina S, JD, Gainesville, FL

I profoundly appreciate the opportunity to work with Jim and experience the mature, “awakened” masculine. He offers a deep, multi-dimensional container in our sessions, giving me space to explore the energetic, the psychological, the spiritual, and the sensual. Through his keen insight, his wonderful ability to articulate and illuminate masculine/feminine dynamics, and his sensitive coaching, I have been able to reveal more of my feminine nature, to see old patterns in relationship, and to experience a deeper appreciation of myself and my partners.”

— Molly B, Cape Town, SA

Jim has been a major ally for me for years. He has a high level of emotional intelligence and insight that is rare in a man. With his ability to hold a clear vision of my authentic self while he helps me navigate through emotional blocks, I am able to get back on track much easier than I can on my own. I have come to completely trust his intuitive sense. His clear communication and wonderful sense of humor makes our sessions both insightful and enjoyable.”

— Malaya R, MA, Bandon, OR